death by stereo.

maggots michael, you're eating maggots
electricscarsandfleshlights:

Granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down… And shot off their testicles.
“The old lady spent a week hunting those men down and, when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way,” said police investigator Evan Delp.
Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant’s desk and told him as calm as could be: “Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.”
Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cell mate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.
The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas’ testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said. “The one guy, Thomas, didn’t lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won’t be using it the way he used to,” Detective Delp told reporters. “Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they’re just happy to be alive after what they’ve been through.”
The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped in broad daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row. “When I saw the look on my Debbie’s face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself ‘cause I figured the Law would go easy on them,”’ recalled the retired library worker. ” And I wasn’t scared of them, either - because I’ve got me a gun and I’ve been shooting’ all my life. And I wasn’t dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about owning one.”
So, using a police artist’s sketch of the suspects and Debbie’s description of the sickos, tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighbourhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill-fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel.
“I knew it was them the minute I saw ‘em, but I shot a picture of ‘em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them,” the oldster recalled…
“So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door, and the minute the big one opened the door, I shot ‘em right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt ‘em most, you know. Then I went in and shot the other one as he backed up pleading to me to spare him. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in.”
Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the vigilante granny.. “What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an 81-year-old woman in prison,” Det. Delp said, “especially when 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for Mayor.”


what a fucking boss

electricscarsandfleshlights:

Granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down… And shot off their testicles.

“The old lady spent a week hunting those men down and, when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way,” said police investigator Evan Delp.

Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant’s desk and told him as calm as could be: “Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.”

Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cell mate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.

The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas’ testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said. “The one guy, Thomas, didn’t lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won’t be using it the way he used to,” Detective Delp told reporters. “Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they’re just happy to be alive after what they’ve been through.”

The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped in broad daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row. “When I saw the look on my Debbie’s face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself ‘cause I figured the Law would go easy on them,”’ recalled the retired library worker. ” And I wasn’t scared of them, either - because I’ve got me a gun and I’ve been shooting’ all my life. And I wasn’t dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about owning one.”

So, using a police artist’s sketch of the suspects and Debbie’s description of the sickos, tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighbourhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill-fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel.

“I knew it was them the minute I saw ‘em, but I shot a picture of ‘em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them,” the oldster recalled…

“So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door, and the minute the big one opened the door, I shot ‘em right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt ‘em most, you know. Then I went in and shot the other one as he backed up pleading to me to spare him. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in.”

Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the vigilante granny.. “What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an 81-year-old woman in prison,” Det. Delp said, “especially when 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for Mayor.”

what a fucking boss

(Source: creativehypocrisy, via modificationnotmutilation)

thedrunkenmoogle:

expbaronline: Blood Slide (Dexter shot)
1/3 - Peach schnapps
1/3 - Cranberry juice
1/3 - Vodka
___________________________________________________
Chill the alcohol in a freezer before use
pour schnapps in a double shot glass
gently pour cranberry juice
carefully layer the vodka on top
Drink, and follow the code
From the creators, EXPBarOnline: “Who doesn’t love Dexter? He is Americas favorite serial killer/father. He is the dark defender that everyone can’t help but love. With every kill he takes a small sample of blood, places it in a slide, and treasures it for ever. the blood slide is his trophy, he remembers each and every kill with just a glance at the slides.”
“That’s it. He’s definitely the one. Now it’s just a matter of time before he becomes a drop of blood in my glass slide collection.” ~ Dexter Morgan
Drink created and photographed by EXPBarOnline.

thedrunkenmoogle:

expbaronlineBlood Slide (Dexter shot)

  • 1/3 - Peach schnapps
  • 1/3 - Cranberry juice
  • 1/3 - Vodka

___________________________________________________

  1. Chill the alcohol in a freezer before use
  2. pour schnapps in a double shot glass
  3. gently pour cranberry juice
  4. carefully layer the vodka on top
  5. Drink, and follow the code

From the creators, EXPBarOnline: “Who doesn’t love Dexter? He is Americas favorite serial killer/father. He is the dark defender that everyone can’t help but love. With every kill he takes a small sample of blood, places it in a slide, and treasures it for ever. the blood slide is his trophy, he remembers each and every kill with just a glance at the slides.”

“That’s it. He’s definitely the one. Now it’s just a matter of time before he becomes a drop of blood in my glass slide collection.” ~ Dexter Morgan

Drink created and photographed by EXPBarOnline.

(via b00-b00-kitty-fuck)

(Source: ta-ble, via ruinedchildhood)

walk-vulgar:

i’m scared. one of my best friends lives in Miami and i’m only a couple house away from ground zero myself. :S

walk-vulgar:

i’m scared. one of my best friends lives in Miami and i’m only a couple house away from ground zero myself. :S

(Source: imariddle, via starsinthegutter)

(via xaviaa)

starsinthegutter:

ad-absurdo:

arliss:

sailaweigh:

joannaestep:

judgebunny:

briannacherrygarcia:

madhattress330:

lysnk2:

goldfishchronicles:

risksareforsurvivors:

Shot in my jaw. Awesome.

that means i was shot/stabbed in the ass. lovely. 

…my ass?

…The inside of my thigh?

Holy shit, I have one on my knee. I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE YOU GUYS.

Shot behind my left ear. Or I was Van Gogh.

Took a knife to the underside of my jaw.  I’m hard to kill.

Bled out when they hacked off my right forearm.

Dear jebus, in my past lives I was boring, too!
Da fuq. I am not even going to say where I was killed then X_x


stabbed in the stomach, or shot there? legit.

stabbed in my thigh and calf..

starsinthegutter:

ad-absurdo:

arliss:

sailaweigh:

joannaestep:

judgebunny:

briannacherrygarcia:

madhattress330:

lysnk2:

goldfishchronicles:

risksareforsurvivors:

Shot in my jaw. Awesome.

that means i was shot/stabbed in the ass. lovely. 

…my ass?

…The inside of my thigh?

Holy shit, I have one on my knee. I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE YOU GUYS.

Shot behind my left ear. Or I was Van Gogh.

Took a knife to the underside of my jaw.  I’m hard to kill.

Bled out when they hacked off my right forearm.

Dear jebus, in my past lives I was boring, too!

Da fuq. I am not even going to say where I was killed then X_x

stabbed in the stomach, or shot there? legit.

stabbed in my thigh and calf..

YES

YES

(via starsinthegutter)

i-am-the-whale-of-fail:

lurkingjello:

hipstarliner:

mademoisellegush:

kats-in-space:

elasticitymudflap:

charlie-gay:



look at dat booty

show me da booty

gimme the booty

i want the booty

back up the booty

i need the booty

i-am-the-whale-of-fail:

lurkingjello:

hipstarliner:

mademoisellegush:

kats-in-space:

elasticitymudflap:

charlie-gay:

look at dat booty

show me da booty

gimme the booty

i want the booty

back up the booty

i need the booty

(Source: canadumb, via b00-b00-kitty-fuck)

Friend: I hope you're happy.
Me: I hope you're happy, now that you're choosing this, I really hope you get it and you don't live to regret it. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY IN THE ENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, MY FRIEND! SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND ME, LOOK TO THE WESTERN SKY AS SOMEONE TOLD ME LATELY, EVERYONE DESERVES A CHANCE TO FLY AND IF I'M FLYING SOLO AT LEAST I'M FLYING FREE TO THOSE WHO'D GROUND ME TAKE A MESSAGE BACK FROM ME TELL THEM HOW I AM DEFYING GRAVITY, I'M FLYING HIGH, DEFYING GRAVITY, AND SOON I'LL MATCH THEM IN RENOWN, AND NOBODY IN ALL OF OZ, NO WIZARD THAT THERE IS OR WAS, IS EVER GONNA BRING ME DOWN! BRING ME DOWN! AW WAH WAH WAH WAH-AAAAAAAAH!
Friend:
Me: What.